This week I was kicked from my own matrix, “it” started in the middle of Monday-Tuesday night. The best way I know to share it is chronologically. So let’s take a repeating dream I had years ago, and I’ll update you as we go.
Dream 1: Can’t Park the Car
The Lot
I’m in the drivers seat, driving my good old 6 gen civic (at the time). I’m in a parking lot and for some reason I use a very weird method to park. Imagine car is positioned right on parking space track, but starting position is offset, and we have to drive it forward / backward, doesn’t matter. Parking lot is an open space, without any cars. After the “stop” line, another spot starts from the opposite side. It’s a sunny day setting.
The Method
Don’t ask why, but my intention in a dream is to turn first gear, sensitively acting on clutch and accelerator give a gentle impulse for the car of the exact amount, so the front wheels stop at the line perfectly without breaking.
Attempt(s) and Message
As you would expect, I cross the line just a little bit. Hit reverse, again gently giving an impulse backwards, so I would stop at my imaginary perfect spot. Frustration each time, cycle repeats.
I had this dream for at least 3-4 times before I dreamt the same situation, except it was in village yard and I was driving a giant harvester (as I kid I was once responsible for holding a line, while grandpa checked something on a bunker). My subconscious had to make it a fucking harvester for me to finally get the message – let go of control. Perfection, holding onto people, things were a big thing going on at a time in my life. As soon as I realized what the dream meant, not only did it stop, but I noticeably relaxed.
Variations
Later in life I had dreams when I would involuntarily drift in factory, industrial setting. I would attempt to steer and straighten the car but it would swing from side to side (and I’m perhaps overly conscious about potential body damage as compared to Italians for example).
Another case at several occasions was a moving or still (my) car, but I’m outside or in passenger seat.
Once the core dream meaning of a car is established, reading different situations around it became really easy.
Dream 2: Disassembly of a Shed
For this one, I have to give some more context, which involves both – recent events and some random background.
Random Background
Classmate
In school we played basketball a lot. Our three – same year – classes had their own talents. Some on basketball, some on football, some – bully types, that tried to compensate with power. Looking back at how hierarchies emerged and evolved through ~7 years is a nice exercise from grown perspective, but that’s offtopic. One dude, that I was not close with was really great in basketball. In character, he was as Tony Soprano would describe “strong, silent type”. Respectable. As far as I know, he was never challenged in a fight, but he had this alpha aura around him and maintained well status between both ladies, teachers and fellow boys.
The Village
I was lucky (~75% sure) to have one, unlike most city folks. I still have a single grandmother and visit her occasionally. I don’t want to spoil the rest, but for now I’ll just say I dream both (parent sides) villages a shit ton. Until Monday I would dream things in village setting up to 4 times a month, depending on what’s on my or my subconscious table…
In dad’s village, years ago we setup a hoop and I shot at it a looot during childhood and teenage years when we would visit.
Recent Events
I don’t browse social media this year. Contrary to my vision, one vice was unfortunately replaced with another. After extremely hard work in 22-23′ and slow payback, pendulum swung to gaming.
Instead of watching youtube tutorials, reading newsletters, reading more (well I read two this year vs 0 in 2023), in evenings, weekends I would grind Entropia Universe – a real cash economy, listen and learn game mechanics, economy, mobs, drops, tips and tricks, weapons, skills effects on professions, events… Pathetic, I know.
At first I wasn’t worried, but I wouldn’t have had a dream, would I?
Monday
On Saturday I worked for couple of hours, pushed an update, visited mom, worked a little at the garden. Walked the dog, swum in the lake nearby, helped prep the dinner, ate and left for home. Gamed the evening. Sunday – alpine boots research, googling of shops, bit of reading, some tidy up of rooms, gamed, jogged, gamed into the night.
New project is on the nose, last week I finished mid-way designing database and relations. I had no willpower. Thought to myself: “had a productive weekend, even coded, fuck it”. Logged into Entropia, played whole day except for lunch. I don’t want to go into game details, but on Mondays I, and other share holders receive their weekly dividends. My other liquidity was locked in auction, so by the evening I was out of cash both in real life and in Entropia.
For Tuesdays alpine gear purchases in Sunday evening I sold some precious bitcoin CFD and I had a lingering thought, maybe I should deposit? Last deposits, contrary to ones before did not go into share purchases, but into gameplay itself. One reason is I learned the internal economy seasonality, the other – it’s just more fun. Again… I know – pathetic.
Dream Itself
So the hoop in the village, contrary to reality is not outside, but not far from it – in a shed, that would remind of beach bars. Me and that classmate are shooting the ball, but often ball would hit low, sloping roof. Now the roof is not a normal roof, but is merely bunch of wooden sticks laid on roof rafters (yea, translated that one) with clearly visible sky above.
In reality hoop is at the side of large garage to house agricultural machinery and grain, with rows of firewood under roof on the side.
In dream, we decide it’s impossible to play decently and I start picking roof sticks. He keeps shooting ball. I don’t want to disassemble, but understand the circumstance, but also know, that unfortunately I’ll be the one to put the “roof” back.
Meanings from this one
This whole post looks silly at this point. It’s so capt’n obvious, right? Conscience spoke through subconscious, because I would not listen otherwise. Let’s run though what I received:
- to play together is in most cases – opposition. If he’s the “success” symbol, I must be the opposite;
- I obviously don’t live under wooden sticks roof, but it does not matter. That’s my perception of my situation, especially when under lower levels of thinking comparison turns up;
- selling assets, especially I deem most precious, especially for entertainment – is yup – disassembling your …
- I think I finally got the village symbol. I moved from my parents long time ago, but village is still a “safe” space, where I’m taken care of, loved, fed, usually.
So yeah, I’m not grinding that shit again until I build a mental house from the shed.
Understanding Dreams
Contrary to common sense the dreams that I manage to crack are actionable. That’s why I highly value them. Dreams are perhaps the most personal thing in the universe, I get that. My friend claims he doesn’t dream (he did on drugs though). Others claim they only dream utter nonsense.
Until I seriously dip my feet into psychology, I can’t make any conclusions or abstractions, but if you dismiss your experiences part of you has while the awake part is resting, you might be missing out. That’s my main message today.
This clip from best of Jordan times I like on the topic.
“It’s not random”. He has more experience. But my intuition says same thing.
Tips to Understand Dreams
Remembering
You can’t work with material, if you don’t have any. So first task is to save it from RAM to SSD in computer terms. Due to frail nature and limited duration, you will have to work to form a conscious memory of experience you just woken up from. Close your eyes immediately. Visual input, although in dark night feeds brain and invariably interferes with dream recollection.
Use emotion to navigate back. Woke scared? From what? Were you always scared throughout this dream, or something unexpected happened?
In my experience, leave the notebook or phone recorder only when you can sufficiently recall essential parts, people, symbols.
See Meaning
In my experience subconscious selects the messenger in extremely clever ways. Haven’t seen a person in 10 years, but met him in a dream? What are his qualities, character, memories, emotions related to him/her, or your common past experiences?
Material things can be tricky. You may not know the symbolism (pine cone = wisdom for example), so either grow in that direction, turn on your associative imagination (especially in relation to other objects/people/setting), or you can peek at dream book for ideas, but in my experience I rarely get meaningful ideas there.
Remember, subconscious doesn’t operate with conventional resources. It speaks in riddles and puzzles. Like in a carefully crafted cartoon – nothing is accidental. Details feed one another. If you can’t see a meaning from a single piece, try mixing, combining to see if anything emerges.
At times – Don’t Overthink
You had a long day with a lot of new learnings, information, had your attention scattered maybe? Sometimes I get those “utter nonsense” dreams, that I don’t even attempt unpacking. It could be, that its a byproduct of subconscious sorting things in their respected drawers, or constructing a new drawers altogether.
If you dream you want piss and you wake up bursting, running to bathroom – you probably just wanted to piss real bad.
If you dream you are fucking, you might as well just be horny. Or not. But that’s whole another topic about fantasies, relationships and sex.
P.s. don’t forget to take walks. The more the better. Until next time.
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